No More Blue
by Dizzy2
Summary: After The Real Folk Blues (part 2), Faye's thinking and remembering. Spoiler for last episode!


Disclaimer: I'll make this short and sweet, I don't own Cowboy Bebop, so don't sue.  
  
Note: (Spoiler!) This story takes place three days after the last episode and it's in Faye's POV.  
  
No More Blue  
  
Strands of my oily, unwashed hair rest limply over my eyes. Normally I'd freak out about it, rush to the shower, and douse my head with shampoo, franticly trying to remove all the dirt from my hair. But now, it doesn't really seem to matter. After all, there's no longer anyone around to look good for, all the blue has left the Bebop, and in its place there a horrible void of white.  
  
I should shower though.. If I didn't feel so miserable, I would. I've been on the couch for three days now, I haven't moved once. Not to eat, not to shower, not even to pee. Even standing up is hard. When I do, my head feels heavy and my legs feel weak and I have to lie back down. So, I just don't move. Everything seems so unreal, fogged, dusted with yellow, like and old photo, or like a dream.  
  
Like a dream..  
  
"It feels like I'm living a dream I'll never wake up from" That's what he said to me, and then he left, just like that. He left my life, and he left his. I stayed in the hall for an hour, leaned against the wall, my hand twitching occasionally, I was waiting. For the first twenty minutes I listened, hoping I'd hear his footsteps, hoping he'd come to his senses and return to me. When that didn't happen, I cried. I cried until I could hardly breath, until my mascara ran down to my lips, until no more tears would fall. And after that, I went to Jet.  
  
I told Jet we had to go find Spike, I told him it wasn't to late to stop him, to save him. I know Jet didn't want to go, I know he knew it was too late for Spike, I could see it in his eyes. But, I also knew he didn't want me to go alone, because he thought I'd do something horrible in the end. The truth is, I probably would have.  
  
We took off. I felt so pointless; all I could do was follow Jet. The syndicate's building was trashed, it was totally abandoned, windows were blown out and the roof was half gone. We circled the roof once, and I saw him, lying face down on the steps. All I could think about was getting to him. Over the radio I heard Jet say it wasn't safe to land on the roof, but I didn't listen. I set down and darted from the Redtail to him as fast as I could.  
  
When I got to him, I knew I was too late. I felt so helpless, so stupid, so weak; I couldn't even find the strength to turn him over. In a way, I'm glad I couldn't, I don't know that I could've handled looking at his face. Shaking uncontrollably, I fell into him. My arm slid between his left shoulder and his neck and under his chest. I buried my face in his back. His smell filled my nose. I wanted to die there, with him. Seconds seemed like days and I stayed with Spike for a while, dampening his coat with my cold tears. When I finally pulled my head away, Jet was sitting their, right next to me, his back to Spike, smoking a cigarette. I pushed myself away from my lost friend and towards my silent one.  
  
"There's nobody else alive in the building and the Swordfish is parked outside the main entrance. I'll have to tow it back" He said, taking another puff of his tobacco comfort. "Oh Jet" I said, falling into his wide shoulder "He's gone, he's actually gone." Jet put his cigarette out "I know, Faye". He put my arm around his neck and stood up, taking me with him. "I'll give you a ride back" Slowly, Jet helped me back to the Redtail. My left arm, up to my elbow, was cover in his blood. It was so cold, so cold. I turned my head back and kept my eyes on Spike the whole time. I kept wishing I could see him smile or hear him speak or even look at his eyes, just one last time. But he's gone forever, like a dream.  
  
Like a dream..  
  
Sometimes I'll look up and think I see a blue clad figure standing in the doorway. But the image always dissolves away quickly, because I'm the one living a dream now. Maybe I'm still there with him, or, maybe I died there after all, and this is my hell. Yes, it must be hell, because, after all, there's no more blue.  
  
The End 


End file.
